Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Digging through old files


This is really interesting because I was going through papers I had written Freshman year of college and I stumbled over this. As my interest in culture studies developed, I started thinking about doing an ehnography or research regarding the n-word. It is interesting to see how some of the same ideas and interview questions overlapped with that of my Racial Dynamics Project. In looking at this information I think that I may start working on an ethnography that solely focuses on the n-word. I will still finish the Racial Dynamics Project film for the Fall.


NOTES, OBSERVATIONS, & EPIPHANIES REGARDING THE INFAMOUS “N” WORD
- On Nov. 1 2008, I was riding in the back of the bus (irrelevant) when I heard a fellow band mate of European descent repeat lyrics she heard from a rap song of some sort using the “n” word. I was uncomfortable, furious, and sad all at the same time. I said nothing to her to avoid making a scene in front of her friends who encouraged her and let each articulation of nigga hit me like a blow to the gut. Whoever said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me was an optimistic that lived in a fantasy world. I began to ponder the reason why this simple word did so much damage. I separated my attachment to the word and attempted to imagine how she viewed it. It became obvious that it was just a word to her, and to me it was a reminder of past sufferings by great grandparents and conflicts in my personal life. The attachment I have to the word is uniquely different than her attachment.

- As I write this I began to speculate the reasons she uses this word. A way to approach this was to observe the influencing factors in society’s media, which is a breeding ground for the “n” word. For example, rap and hip-hop music, YouTube videos, cartoon shows like The Boondocks, movies (American History X), etc.

- Among the black community, the word nigga and its variations can be a strong, unifying theme. Like nationalism between World War I and II in Germany, Italy, and other European countries, the word is so strong it gives a sense of unification, power, and a feeling of belonging. The question I would like to explore is “Do black americans say the “n” word solely (or partly) to feel like they need to belong, and branch out to others that say the “n” word because they feel misplaced in White America.


Questions to ask during informal and formal interviews to white americans:
- Have you ever said the “n” word? If so, why?
- If you have said the “n” word in a leisurely manner what is your justification for doing so?
- Have you ever said the “n” word to verbally abuse someone?
- In a general statement, what do you think about this word?
...to black americans:
- Have you ever said the “n” word? If so, why?
- If you have said the “n” word in a leisurely manner what is your justification for doing so?
- Have you ever said the “n” word to verbally abuse someone?
- Where did you learn/ hear the “n” word?
- What do you think about white people who say the “n” word?
- What does the “n” word mean to you?
- What do you think about non blacks and whites that say the “n” word?
- Are some people allowed to say the “n” word and others are not?

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